funny joke here

malefica-anima:

asmilinggoddess:

asmilinggoddess:

now that im in the space mood i’d like to remind each and every one of you that NASA drew a dick on mars. we drew a dick on another planet.  that is mankind’s legacy.

image

THIS IS AN ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE SURFACE OF MARS. PLEASE NEVER FORGET THIS.

Woah it’s true.

ultrafacts:

zombiekittensandmadscientists:

comoausente:

aperturedalek64:

ironicpeaches:

aperturedalek64:

cant-think-of-anything-creative:

ultrafacts:

Source / More Facts HERE

no but imagine if you drank too much at a bar and then passes out on the floor and no-one could find your pulse so hours later you woke up in the ER or worse a morgue

Dude fake murders. Frame people. Scare the shit out of everyone. Pretend to be dead.

fail gym because you dont have a pulse for them to measure

CPR class: “can i have a volunteer?”
Halloween…be a zombie. Without a pulse. Hell yes.

… How could you possibly not have a pulse if blood were pulsing through your veins? I’m not a doctor but I think that has to be happening for you to live.

It’s because the blood flows continuously instead of in bursts.

It is called a ventricular assist device (VAD). It is used to replace the function of a failing heart  or for short term use, typically for patients recovering from heart attacks or heart surgery.

ultrafacts:

zombiekittensandmadscientists:

comoausente:

aperturedalek64:

ironicpeaches:

aperturedalek64:

cant-think-of-anything-creative:

ultrafacts:

SourceMore Facts HERE

no but imagine if you drank too much at a bar and then passes out on the floor and no-one could find your pulse so hours later you woke up in the ER or worse a morgue

Dude fake murders. Frame people. Scare the shit out of everyone. Pretend to be dead.

fail gym because you dont have a pulse for them to measure

CPR class: “can i have a volunteer?”

Halloween…be a zombie. Without a pulse. Hell yes.

… How could you possibly not have a pulse if blood were pulsing through your veins? I’m not a doctor but I think that has to be happening for you to live.

It’s because the blood flows continuously instead of in bursts.

It is called a ventricular assist device (VAD). It is used to replace the function of a failing heart  or for short term use, typically for patients recovering from heart attacks or heart surgery.

messyfandom:

the first and last dad joke

messyfandom:

the first and last dad joke

lucarleigho:

*crashes through your door* GUESS WHO’S BACK *punches a wall* ON YOUR DASH *flips a table* HOMESTUCK’S BACK *slaps you across the face* WE’RE ALL TRASH

sigornthenn:

sweetmetaphors:

it is time.

soon the era of pumpkin will fall and the northern winds whisper

peppermint everything

littlemissmutant:

binghsien:

note-a-bear:

kaalashnikov:

cracked:

Dark Ages, Schmark Ages. The De-Textbook cuts through that and so much more fake-fact bullshit.

cloudy with a chance of witch burning

your periodic reminder that a good chunk of Europe basically shat the bed for a few centuries while everyone else kinda did their thing.

I am sorry I’m going to be that person.
This map is extremely inaccurate.
1) China was not going through business as usual China was going through the TANG DYNASTY i.e. the Golden Age of Chinese culture, which would lay down legal and social and poetic norms for the rest of Chinese history. The Tang is so influential that a lot of languages call Chinese people 唐人 (People from Tang.) (We call Chinese people “people from Qin” so.)
2) Japan is _first becoming literate_ during this time period (due to the influence of the Tang they adopt Chinese script), which is a BFD for poetry, religion, politics, society. Japanese court culture develops, which near the end of this period (11th century, around the time Europe enters “high middle ages”) will produce The Tale of Genji (by a totally awesome woman named Murasaki),widely regarded as the world’s first novel because of it’s deft use of irony and social commentary.
3) The southern part of Korea is experiencing the emergence of Unified Silla, a state that will last the entire period and will see the importation of Chinese and Indian buddhism, the construction of the first Confucian college in Korea, and so on.
4) In Mesoamerica, the Mayans are inventing astronomy, writing (the third and final independent invention of writing in human history), and a whole crapload of other stuff. This is the triumph of their culture.
5) The Umayyads in Spain are a massive center of technology, learning, and (comparative) religious toleration.
6) The Eastern Roman Empire, which spans both the green and yellow portions of your map, isn’t doing too badly either, bouncing back after losing territory to the Caliphate.
7) The Polynesians are colonizing the ENTIRE PACIFIC using amazing advanced navigation technology not rivaled until the INVENTION OF GPS.
8) I am not equipped to talk about Sub-Saharan Africa in detail (cue rant about how we never learn about subsaharan africa in the western educational system) but you can bet there are some major, amazing developments going on there too. I’d be shocked if there weren’t.
9) HOLY SHIT INDIA.
10) OMG SOUTH EAST ASIA. SOUTH. EAST. ASIA.
11) THEY WEREN’T BURNING WITCHES IN EUROPE DURING THE MIGRATION PERIOD (dark ages). Witch burning took off in the EARLY MODERN PERIOD, nearly 1000 years after this. Europe was going through some tough shit, which would leave them backwards compared to the rest of the world for 1000 years, but also there were some amazing things happening there, at least have the decency to be like “angry dudes with swords stabbing people” not WITCH BURNINGS FFS.
12) And ABSOLUTELY Islamic Caliphate was a totally amazing flowering of intellectual, artistic, and spiritual culture, a mixing pot between a thousand cultures and languages, and totally amazing. Don’t in any way want to diminish that in any way.

PLEASE ALWAYS BE THAT PERSON

littlemissmutant:

binghsien:

note-a-bear:

kaalashnikov:

cracked:

Dark Ages, Schmark Ages. The De-Textbook cuts through that and so much more fake-fact bullshit.

cloudy with a chance of witch burning

your periodic reminder that a good chunk of Europe basically shat the bed for a few centuries while everyone else kinda did their thing.

I am sorry I’m going to be that person.

This map is extremely inaccurate.

1) China was not going through business as usual China was going through the TANG DYNASTY i.e. the Golden Age of Chinese culture, which would lay down legal and social and poetic norms for the rest of Chinese history. The Tang is so influential that a lot of languages call Chinese people 唐人 (People from Tang.) (We call Chinese people “people from Qin” so.)

2) Japan is _first becoming literate_ during this time period (due to the influence of the Tang they adopt Chinese script), which is a BFD for poetry, religion, politics, society. Japanese court culture develops, which near the end of this period (11th century, around the time Europe enters “high middle ages”) will produce The Tale of Genji (by a totally awesome woman named Murasaki),widely regarded as the world’s first novel because of it’s deft use of irony and social commentary.

3) The southern part of Korea is experiencing the emergence of Unified Silla, a state that will last the entire period and will see the importation of Chinese and Indian buddhism, the construction of the first Confucian college in Korea, and so on.

4) In Mesoamerica, the Mayans are inventing astronomy, writing (the third and final independent invention of writing in human history), and a whole crapload of other stuff. This is the triumph of their culture.

5) The Umayyads in Spain are a massive center of technology, learning, and (comparative) religious toleration.

6) The Eastern Roman Empire, which spans both the green and yellow portions of your map, isn’t doing too badly either, bouncing back after losing territory to the Caliphate.

7) The Polynesians are colonizing the ENTIRE PACIFIC using amazing advanced navigation technology not rivaled until the INVENTION OF GPS.

8) I am not equipped to talk about Sub-Saharan Africa in detail (cue rant about how we never learn about subsaharan africa in the western educational system) but you can bet there are some major, amazing developments going on there too. I’d be shocked if there weren’t.

9) HOLY SHIT INDIA.

10) OMG SOUTH EAST ASIA. SOUTH. EAST. ASIA.

11) THEY WEREN’T BURNING WITCHES IN EUROPE DURING THE MIGRATION PERIOD (dark ages). Witch burning took off in the EARLY MODERN PERIOD, nearly 1000 years after this. Europe was going through some tough shit, which would leave them backwards compared to the rest of the world for 1000 years, but also there were some amazing things happening there, at least have the decency to be like “angry dudes with swords stabbing people” not WITCH BURNINGS FFS.

12) And ABSOLUTELY Islamic Caliphate was a totally amazing flowering of intellectual, artistic, and spiritual culture, a mixing pot between a thousand cultures and languages, and totally amazing. Don’t in any way want to diminish that in any way.

PLEASE ALWAYS BE THAT PERSON

jacknightshadefrost:

frozen-autumn-sky:

What have I done…

you just made Frozen so much better

the-fury-of-a-spooky-lord:

ferrific:

cactusrabbit:

literaryvice432:

kushitekalkulus:

COLLECTION OF YORUBA ORISHAS

Not to diss on European mythologies but can we seriously have some fuckin’ recognition that there are religions and mythologies that are not Greek or Norse. Why the fuck did I learn about the Greeks 6 times but we never fucking talked about Africa or even really the mythologies and beliefs of native peoples? 

(Pssst from what group are these deities from?)

The Yoruba of western Africa.

i don’t have many forever reblogs

but this one is

the-splendid-naked-officer:

benigoat:

Press B to crouch.

On my way for dat ass

the-splendid-naked-officer:

benigoat:

Press B to crouch.

On my way for dat ass